Church Bloopers

Here are some church bloopers found in programs or bulletins. Enjoy!


1) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

2) The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

3) Evening massage - 6 p.m.

4) The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

5) The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

6) Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.

7) Ushers will eat latecomers.

8) The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

9) For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

10) The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

11) The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

12) During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

13) Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

14) Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.